At Home Mechanic

My engine compartment is clean also. Squeaky clean. No grease, dirt or even dust. My wheels are clean and the tires get a regular coating of Armor-All. I like my car clean.

But it takes a lot of effort to keep a daily driver clean. I run my car through the car wash that is just across the street from my office once a week. They have a reduced price special on Tuesdays and Wednesdays that knocks the price down from $9.99 to $6.99 and your tenth car wash is free. For another three bucks, they will Armor-All the tires. Toss in a couple buck tip and for the price of a half a tank of gas I get to drive off in a shiny, clean car. I consider this a small price to pay to keep my car looking sharp.

Not all of my cars get this kind of lavish attention. I have been known to own and drive a "beater." A beater is a car whose cosmetic appearance is of no consequence to you or anyone else (except maybe the neighbors who have to see that thing parked on their block) because you are only going to own it until it drops in its tracks and needs to be towed away. A cheap car that may or may not run so well, but gets you where you need to go, but do not wear your good clothes, and don't let anyone you know see you driving it, is a beater. Beaters don't get washed, and the dents don't get fixed. A beater gets used to haul furniture, pick up lumber or lug potting soil. A beater is easy to own if you have a "good" car at home for dates and important business appointments, because anyone who saw you in a beater would give you wide berth.

In snow country a winter beater is the vehicle of choice for the snow months. Any car you love will become a victim of salted roads, sheet ice and snow drifts if left on the streets during a typical snow country winter. In those places, the good car gets to rest in the garage while the winter beater braces the elements.

Beaters I have owned have included a '66 Ford Mustang coupe that was never going to become a 100 point (perfect) show car and its 6 cylinder engine was never going to allow it to be a performance car. A '82 Toyota Corolla that I inherited from my wife and that served my well until it got stolen and chopped for its parts was a good beater. And a '89 Honda Civic that was simply the best car I ever owned. I should have kept and appreciated that car but I let it go when my car count reached four and that is three more than I could drive at any one time.

But the best beater of all was a '85 Dodge Diplomat that I bought used from the California Highway Patrol. The CHP throws a cheap paint job on their used black and white patrol cars and sells them to the general public, and I snapped one up. They come with a cop engine, cop transmission, cop tires, etc. etc. so you get a heavy-duty sedan with a stout driveline. This car could transport 3 suspects, err, passengers in the back seat, hold an evidence locker's worth of junk in the trunk, and looked like I was on narcotics stake out when I drove it on the street. Nobody messed with that car.

I currently do not own a beater, my three current cars are all "keepers" and I treat them with care. But there is something very liberating about owning a car that can be parked in any neighborhood, can carry any kind of cargo and never needs to be looked after with any particular care. Every car collection should include a beater.